I recently had a conversation with the owner of a large company about the importance of the manager’s role in supporting employees’ needs. At one point they said,
“Managers must first know how they’re feeling about work themselves.”
It is a truth that cannot be overstated. While it may seem obvious, I often wonder if it is truly understood, and more importantly, supported, inside organizations.
Too often, conversations about employee engagement skip right to what employees need: clarity, recognition, opportunities to learn and grow. But the most powerful way to teach managers how to support employees is to first help them understand what they need themselves. And that begins with noticing how they are feeling about their work.
The Power of Noticing
Many people go through the motions at work without considering the influence they have over their own experience. Sometimes this happens because they don't have the tools to recognize what they are feeling. Other times, they may notice how they feel but don't know how to connect those feelings to the needs employees share.
And here is the reality: adults are not naturally skilled at noticing how they feel in the first place. Research shows most people can only easily identify a handful of feelings when they're having them such as happy, sad, or angry. Yet our experiences at work are far more nuanced. Excitement, frustration, pride, anxiety, boredom, or hope can all surface in the course of a single day, but if we cannot name them, we lose the chance to understand what they are telling us.
Taking regular inventory of how you feel is essential.
Are you excited to get up in the morning, energized by problem-solving for customers or connecting with colleagues? Or do you find yourself debating whether to call in sick because something at work is draining the energy out of you? Are irritation or anxiety showing up more often than not?
When you pause to notice, you begin to see patterns. Those patterns are not good or bad. They are data that can inform your next steps. And even using a simple feelings wheel can do the trick to help put a name to the feelings.
Naming What You Notice
None of these feelings are good or bad. They are data that can guide you to the right area of focus. This is where the Q12 becomes especially powerful. By connecting what you feel to the core elements of engagement, you can identify which need may deserve attention.
For example:
- If you feel anxious about priorities, it may connect to knowing what is expected of you at work.
- If you feel discouraged or unseen, it may connect to receiving recognition for doing good work.
- If you feel isolated, it may connect to having a best friend at work or feeling like your opinions count.
- If you feel stagnant, it may connect to having opportunities to learn and grow.
Naming both your feelings and the engagement element they tie to gives you clarity and a starting point for action. From there, you can ask: What can I do to spark more of what fuels me? What can I change to reduce what drains me?
Why This Matters for Managers
Every employee benefits from this kind of self-awareness, but for managers it is essential. Managers set the tone for the teams they lead. When they can model what it looks like to notice, name, and respond to their own needs, they create a culture where employees feel empowered to do the same.
And when managers understand their own needs as employees, they are far better equipped to recognize and support the needs of those they serve.
Engagement is not just about a checklist of employee expectations. It is about cultivating awareness, agency, and intentional action. That starts with managers who first do the work themselves.